View Full Version : My Second Film for the schools film contest
[UFP]Ghost
20 Jan 2009, 03:35
It didn't "win" best film on paper but it did from the audience and the people who came :)
Anyway let my know what you think. Comment their or here, I just want some criticism. The movie isn't finished. I had to shorten it for this contest, and I had to add a kippah in a scene I forgot to wear one in. Because my school is like that. Anyway, watch. Your criticism means a great deal to me.
Yo
http://www.vimeo.com/2876982
Click away!
[UFP]Ghost
20 Jan 2009, 23:32
Has anyone, other than Bonz, watched it?
Pretty good, really! Especially considering it's an amateur short!
But, some tips:
-Womanly voice, womanly voice, a man dressed as a woman still needs a womanly voice!
-Get a better wig. One that doesn't show black hair.
-As well as that, vodka in pint glasses? Surely there were proper glasses in the house for that!
-Does Ariella only have one outfit or something? As far as I can tell, she wears the same thing the entire length of the short!
-Just about all of the actors need to act more. More facial movements, more hand movements, more visible emotion, you get the idea. Except for Aaron, he was honestly brilliant!
-Whenever watching TV or something similar, it's a good idea to have the TV off, record the sound separately, and overlay it onto the video. That way, you don't get the sound-skip from when you change camera angle. It also allows for a nifty sound damping when a character comes in.
-The ending... why on earth did you have a cheap frame-over of the kappah? Ideally, what you should've done once you realised it was missing was re-shoot the short scene of Joseph waiting for the bus, but where he takes it off as a lack-of-faith moment.
That's all I can think of. Hope it helps!
Please tell me the school you go to is a regular school.
[UFP]Ghost
23 Jan 2009, 12:36
First of all, thanks.
Plasma:
1. The voice, I'm thinking of dubbing in either a woman's voice or a friend of mine who does a humorous fake woman's voice. The problem is I can do one but only for a short period of time. I start to lose my voice to quickly so in that version I didn't have it.
2. I Think I'll take your advice and re-record the tv and fix that, and now I know for next time.
3. The kippah thing is only for the contest, after that the fake one will be removed, that's why I didn't re-shoot the scene. They are stupid and watched it two days before the contest, then the day before they tell you what you have to fix.
4. I agree Aaron was brilliant, and my sister told me that also, she's in going into film, and for my next film I'll make sure me and my actors exaggerate more.
Yakuza & Plasma
About the kippah thing. And the school. I go to CHAT (The Community Hebrew Academy of Toronto). It's a pretty normal school most of the time. It's non-semestered and we take seven English courses. However on top of those seven, we also take four Hebrew courses. Now, the school decided in its infinite wisdom to make a rule that we need to be wearing a kippah or they won't show the movie. But normally, the school is at least normal for everything non-jewish. I did English during the summer at a public school and it was like our school just not everyone was Jewish. So I don't go to a religious school or anything like that, we just also learn a bit of hebrew, jewish history, tanach and rabbinics.
Edit: The people in charge of the contest and not normal and wouldn't have allowed this lack of faith moment, they almost made me black bar my head when I took of the wig before I put on the kippah. But I told them I just wouldn't submit the film and they only had 2 more this year, and one of them was total crap so they needed my movie.
Edit2: I'm suing this for another project at school so I might make some of these changes. But getting some of those actors to reshoot the movie, would be difficult. Anything I can edit in or fake though I'm going to do.
Well, you could try to argue on technicalities, and point out that the rule as laid out in Shulchan Arukh only stated that you shouldn't walk 4 cubits (2 meters) without a head covered, and that in that part of the scene you weren't. Granted, it's very unlikely to work, as it would require that:
1: They didn't realise that the Mishnah Berurah changed the rule to include standing still too. (Well hey, y'never know. My experience of religious people is that they don't actually pay attention to the finer detail)
2: They don't think it custom anyway, regardless of jewish laws.
But hey, it could be worth a shot.
Thank god I'm an atheist! :rolleyes:
Pun intended.
[UFP]Ghost
23 Jan 2009, 19:50
Well, you could try to argue on technicalities, and point out that the rule as laid out in Shulchan Arukh only stated that you shouldn't walk 4 cubits (2 meters) without a head covered, and that in that part of the scene you weren't. Granted, it's very unlikely to work, as it would require that:
1: They didn't realise that the Mishnah Berurah changed the rule to include standing still too. (Well hey, y'never know. My experience of religious people is that they don't actually pay attention to the finer detail)
2: They don't think it custom anyway, regardless of jewish laws.
But hey, it could be worth a shot.
I shall try that. I just hope my tanach teacher isn't on that committee. I'm pretty sure he knows how to refute anything we bring up. I wore a read shirt one day and he picked up his tanach and said the name of a prophet, a parek, a pasook and read that line to me. I always thought that was impressive. Even if you are an expert on something like the bible, you're still an expert.
I wasn't talking about religion, I was just wondering if it was a drama school
[UFP]Ghost
23 Jan 2009, 21:37
I wasn't talking about religion, I was just wondering if it was a drama school
O God no. If that's your thing then power to you. But I'm more of a knowledge person. I take the max subjects I can including all of the maths and sciences. I also take a film course as well as a few others. But this is more for 'fun' which I will use for a project. I wouldn't want to devote part of the day to learning those kinds of things unless I did them after school. I realize it's only grade 12 but I like to know stuff. So ya...
Ghost;683699']O God no. If that's your thing then power to you. But I'm more of a knowledge person. I take the max subjects I can including all of the maths and sciences. I also take a film course as well as a few others. But this is more for 'fun' which I will use for a project. I wouldn't want to devote part of the day to learning those kinds of things unless I did them after school. I realize it's only grade 12 but I like to know stuff. So ya...
You're all that's wrong with the education system.
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
[UFP]Ghost
24 Jan 2009, 15:00
You're all that's wrong with the education system.
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
Not really. My creativity comes out in what I like to do. And that happens to be my computers class and my math classes. We had a drama class in grades 9 and 10. Sure it was fun but nut as fun as other classes were. We have gym, but I don't have room on my schedule to take it. I loved gym, but not as much as other things. Everyone's different, like I said....if it's your thing then go ahead.
Ghost;683772']Not really. My creativity comes out in what I like to do. And that happens to be my computers class and my math classes. We had a drama class in grades 9 and 10. Sure it was fun but nut as fun as other classes were. We have gym, but I don't have room on my schedule to take it. I loved gym, but not as much as other things. Everyone's different, like I said....if it's your thing then go ahead.
You still acted shocked, like "Oh my god no way man, drama? Hahaha no I take real subjects dude like MATHEMATIX".
[UFP]Ghost
24 Jan 2009, 15:38
You still acted shocked, like "Oh my god no way man, drama? Hahaha no I take real subjects dude like MATHEMATIX".
That was my attitude...true. However, I do know a few random people that go to those schools and I think that's fine. If that's what they want to be then then should spend lots of time doing it. But ya tbh nothing is better then the maths. Math is just the best thing in the world....well maybe second to women but you get the point.
[UFP]Ghost
25 Jan 2009, 20:31
Yakuza, you never replied with what you thought about the movie.
MtlAngelus
25 Jan 2009, 22:19
Ghost;683775']That was my attitude...true. However, I do know a few random people that go to those schools and I think that's fine. If that's what they want to be then then should spend lots of time doing it. But ya tbh nothing is better then the maths. Math is just the best thing in the world....well maybe second to women but you get the point.
No, physics trumps math. Despite, I know, that physics require maths, it's still better to learn physics than pure math.
Also the movie had bad audio and was, well, boring, as I couldn't even be bothered to finish watching it.
Alien King
25 Jan 2009, 22:25
No, physics trumps math. Despite, I know, that physics require maths, it's still better to learn physics than pure math.
Infidel!
The science gets in the way of the Maths in Physics.
That and my Physics classes bore the hell out of me at the moment, not sure why I've chosen to do Maths & Physics at Uni...
As for the video, I'm not sure what to make of it. Not particularly interesting.
MtlAngelus
25 Jan 2009, 23:09
Infidel!
The science gets in the way of the Maths in Physics.
That and my Physics classes bore the hell out of me at the moment, not sure why I've chosen to do Maths & Physics at Uni...
As for the video, I'm not sure what to make of it. Not particularly interesting.
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
:p
Alien King
25 Jan 2009, 23:12
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
Mathematics is the queen of the sciences.
Yeah, that's pretty much it. I'm going to stop derailing this thread.
MtlAngelus
25 Jan 2009, 23:17
Yeah but Gauss died quite a long time before any proper understanding of physics so his opinion doesn't count. :p
I think of mathematics as the language of science.
It's more philosophical than scientific.
Me as a biologist find mathematics, physics and even chemistry to some degree way too theoretical.
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