Poke Zeor and Die X2: The Cutting of the Crap

[Zero72]

I just couldn't keep up the commitment required for Poke Zeor and Die X (http://forum.team17.co.uk/showthread.php?t=30595). It was actually quite elaborate -- somebody would have to retrieve the hat from the snowman in the far northeastern corner of the map, find a way to track down and get a golden key from the GMan, and then insert both items into the vending machine to produce the hat of power, which would then be immediately stolen, leading to an amazingly dramatic final battle versus the Breenenator. There was a weapon shop set up, a room with a couple of mingebags so you could fight them to acquire gravity guns, and everything. Too bad I couldn't give a damn anymore, huh?

With this in mind, Poke Zeor and Die X2, now with the power of GMod 10, is going back to Poke Zeor and Die roots. Sorry to say that there's no grand quest this time -- just you and Zeor and a handful of other playthings in a room and infinite ways to die. You won't start with any weapons this time, but the vending machine might smile on you, and I won't bother with health or currency, either. Use the machine as often as you'd like, and health will just be a situational thing rather than a number, particularly since you'll just respawn immediately anyway (provided you choose so.)

If you want to be in, pick one of these dudes. They're just numbered 1-9 from left to right, except for the Combine guys on the far right there. You can choose between plain clothes and resistance uniform for the humans if you want. You can't be the metrocop, sorry. I'm the metrocop. I'll entertain requests for special HL2 characters if you've been a good boy this year.
http://g.photos.cx/DudeSelect-69.PNG

Once you've done that, let us begin!

http://g.photos.cx/001-1a.jpg
A Room
This is a room somewhere in an office complex. There are large bay windows to the NORTH.

http://g.photos.cx/002-0f.jpg
Zeor is here. He appears content, or possibly bored.

http://g.photos.cx/003-14.jpg
There is a Do Not Push button here.
There is a vending machine here.

http://g.photos.cx/004-85.jpg
Although the door which would ordinarily provide an exit to the WEST is perpetually open, it has been boarded shut from the other side. Additionally, mighty blast doors have sealed off a wide window of open space. It would appear that leaving this room is discouraged.
There is a Weighted Companion Cube here.

[Akuryou13]

DIBS ON GUY #7!!!

so we just start doing stuff now or do we wait to get everyone a character?

edit: and he's gotta be in the resistance clothes, ala Concerned. :)

[Zero72]

You can go ahead whenever, yeah.

[Akuryou13]

sweet! I run over and pick up the companion cube and hurl it against the big red button as hard as I can!

[frat boy scream]WOOOOOO!!!!!![/frat boy scream]

[Paul.Power]

Hopefully I've been a good boy and I can have Kleiner.

To start with, I guess I'll try out the vending machine.

[Akuryou13]

Hopefully I've been a good boy and I can have Kleiner.if anyone deserves a custom one, it's you deserving kleiner :p

[thomasp]

I choose guy #5 in plain clothes.

> Walk over and press the "Do Not Press" button. Press it a second time shortly afterwards

[MtlAngelus]

I wanna be Alyx. Just kidding.
I wanna be Dr. Magnusson. D:
If not then gimme Guy # 8 in civilian clothes.

>Tackle Zeor.

[Melon]

#3 in normal clothes please. Make sure he says "I PITY THE FOOL!" whenever possible.

> If possible, take the picture off of the wall behing Zeor and smash thomasp over the head with it.

[SupSuper]

I pick Guy #1 because I'm lazy.

> Kick vending machine.

[thomasp]

> Insert Melon into vending machine as revenge for whacking said picture over my head.

[Star Worms]

#2 please

> Look under the seat cushions on chairs and sofa.

I choose guy #5 in plain clothes.

> Walk over and press the "Do Not Press" button. Press it a second time shortly afterwards

http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/7129/funnypictures20517vl1.jpg

[thomasp]

That's why I'm pushin' it twice :D

[Star Worms]

I would've pressed it if you didn't anyway :p

However I sense a repeat of the events that happened to you in Melon's thread.

[FutureWorm]

can i please be dr. breen? otherwise i'll take #5

> hug companion cube

[Zero72]

You'll be glad to know that I've been charged 10 bucks for a program that isn't an ounce more stable than its half-assed free predecessors.

That's all.

[Akuryou13]

You'll be glad to know that I've been charged 10 bucks for a program that isn't an ounce more stable than its half-assed free predecessors.

That's all.yeah, but it's still got a few fancy new things.....yeah I realize they're all pointless but hey, it was only $10 :p

[Zero72]

I've pinpointed the problem. The hat on Zeor's head, for some reason, fails to render after loading the save, and passing the aiming reticule over the space where it's supposed to be results in a crash.

COOL!

[Zero72]

Alright, had to re-do the whole room thanks to the busted save file. Hopefully the hat is the only thing that causes this, so I can just remove it before saving.

http://g.photos.cx/005-9b.jpg
Akuryou has joined the game!

http://g.photos.cx/006-cc.jpg
The Weighted Companion Cube is meant for use in a testing facility where lifting is assisted by cutting-edge gravitational manipulation technology and not to actually be lifted by human hands, but you manage somehow. It's profoundly heavy.

http://g.photos.cx/007-60.jpg
In another impossible feat of strength, you heave the Weighted Companion Cube across the room at the Do Not Push Button.

http://g.photos.cx/008-e0.jpg
Almost too predictably, the Weighted Companion Cube bounces back with ridiculous force, meeting you in midair. You're dead by the time you hit the ground.

***YOU HAVE DIED***

Your score is Potato.
Play again? Y/N

http://g.photos.cx/009-f1.jpg
Zeor chuckles at your hideous misfortune, and produces an elegant-looking sword. Just to admire it, it seems.

[MonkeyforaHead]

Oh, what the hey. I'll take #9, for the sake of continuity.

> Examine elegant sword

[Zero72]

http://g.photos.cx/010-2e.jpg
Paul.Power has entered the game!

http://g.photos.cx/011-b1.jpg
You proceed to the vending machine, and, by virtue of a recently discovered Counter-Strike prop, insert a dollar. It's convenient.

http://g.photos.cx/012-e0.jpg
You got Biggoron's Sword!

Hoo... Now I remember why I lost interest last time. Even the simplest things take me forever.

[Akuryou13]

Hoo... Now I remember why I lost interest last time. Even the simplest things take me forever.couldn't you save the common poses for each character? such as standing normally, holding a newly discovered item, and so on. that way you could keep them off screen and you wouldn't have to do as much work the next time around. I don't know what the rest of the process involves, but the character editing would at least be a bit easier that way.

[Zero72]

Firstly, the only common pose I can think of is standing-around-like-an-idiot. :p Secondly, that would take so much personality out of it.

[Akuryou13]

Firstly, the only common pose I can think of is standing-around-like-an-idiot. :p Secondly, that would take so much personality out of it.well, the find-stuff pose would be repeatable. standing as well...I'm sure there are others, but I'm not the one doing them :p and I don't think it'd lose any personality unless you constantly copy-pasted everything. I'm just suggesting you do it for the boring, common poses.

either way it's you doing it, so you have fun, but I know I would take the lazy road :cool:

[Zero72]

http://g.photos.cx/013-eb.jpg
thomasp has entered the game!

http://g.photos.cx/014-ba.jpg
Always ready to give the grim reaper a wedgie, you immediately proceed to and press the Do Not Push button!

http://g.photos.cx/015-b7.jpg
You receive a bazillion kajillion dollars!

http://g.photos.cx/016-8d.jpg
You immediately press the button a second time.

http://g.photos.cx/017-63.jpg
Your bazillion kajillion dollars ignite!

[Zero72]

http://g.photos.cx/018-42.jpg
Your fortune burns into naught but a couple of scorched bills in no time flat. In a bizarre twist of fate, however, you don't die horribly.

[thomasp]

WHAT??? I feel cheated! Why didn't my character die???

> Push one's luck and press the "Do Not Press" button again.

[Zero72]

WHAT??? I feel cheated! Why didn't my character die???

The main reason is that somebody else's turn wants you alive. :p Believe me, you were going to.

The second reason was that it was too predictable.

[MtlAngelus]

This is already my favorite game ever. :cool:

[Melon]

Hahaha! Those expressions! Awesome!

[Akuryou13]

THAT WAS AMAZING! *continues laughing*

[Zero72]

Heheh, thanks.

New weird quirk: There's now at least one Male7C ragdoll hanging around next to the weighted companion cube, invisible, and invincible to all such things as the physgun and remover, just interfering like hell with anything that gets close to it. Sigh. At least aiming at it doesn't crash the game.

Sorry these aren't coming very quickly. I'll have more time on the weekend. Angelus' is forthcoming.

[Zero72]

http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/1268/019ht1.jpg
MtlAngelus has joined the game!

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/6315/020zj9.jpg
Zeor spots you from across the room, mistakes you for his boss, and tries to look busy.

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/4966/021bj7.jpg
You charge at Zeor at full tilt!
Zeor notes something amiss.

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/3898/022ip1.jpg
You tackle Zeor with great force!

[Zero72]

http://img352.imageshack.us/img352/6457/023wh9.jpg
Whoa! How did THAT happen?!
"Holy crap. Hold still a sec," says Zeor.

http://img352.imageshack.us/img352/6195/024bz9.jpg
BOOM

http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/9743/025nd8.jpg
Zeor's Elegant Sword appears undamaged.

***YOU HAVE DIED***

Your score is AWESOME.
Play again? Y/N

[thomasp]

*Dies laughing*

I see it's my character's turn to pop his cloggs next.

[Star Worms]

#2 please

> Look under the seat cushions on chairs and sofa.Nevermind - just read the bit about no quest. Instead....

> Shove zeor through vending machine

[MtlAngelus]

Man I look angry. :p
Also ouch.

>y
> Sit in the couch and stare at people menacingly.

[Akuryou13]

seeing as I haven't done anything new yet:

> I search the room (thoroughly) for anything interesting to play with

[Zero72]

Man I look angry. :p
Well, you wanted to be Magnusson. ;) I think he has special facial expression parameters just to make him look angrier.

By the way, photos.cx is down at the moment, which explains why only the latest update is showing up.

[Paul.Power]

> Say "Man, this is a big sword. Hey Zeor, come and look at the size of this sword!"

(sorry I haven't posted in here bit... trying not to overload you with instructions. Keep up the good work :))

[Star Worms]

> While Zeor is being distracted by Paul, throw books at Zeor's head trying to impale him on Paul's sword

[Pigbuster]

Guy #1, please, in plain clothes.

> Make a sweet fort out of the cushions (or use the whole chair, if the cushions can't be removed). Hide in fort afterwards.

[Xinos]

Hm, Guy #9 will do.. but can I have a hat or something? :)

> Use Vending Machine

[Star Worms]

Guy #1, please, in plain clothes.

> Make a sweet fort out of the cushions (or use the whole chair, if the cushions can't be removed). Hide in fort afterwards.

Hey... or you could call it a suite fort

Eh? Eh? Nudge Nudge...

[Pigbuster]

I am not sure that there is enough furniture in the room for that.

[thomasp]

*bumpity bump*

This thing still going on?

[Zero72]

uuuuggggghhhh

I still have a lot going on and so very little time.

[Pigbuster]

uh...
Pardon my resurrection, but...

What in the hell happened to the first picture? :confused:

[Zero72]

WHAT the.

Blame photos.cx. I don't know WHY, but... yeah, it has to be them. I know one of their servers was shut down because whoever was renting it to them kept jacking the price up, and so they're not taking uploads for a while, but I don't see why that would change one of my existing uploads on the server that's still running to an Asian bikini lady.

As for the whole thread... Sorry, I've just totally lost all motivation. I know I didn't get much at all done this time. I just have a lot else to do.

[Pigbuster]

Well, at least it made your formerly innocent caption solid gold.

"Man, check out the large bay windows on that one!"

[SupSuper]

Given how nasty image swaps can be, I think you got the best end of the deal.

[Pickleworm]

Given how nasty image swaps can be, I think you got the best end of the deal.

Hardly. The lady has a serious lip issue that quite frankly is freaking me out :[

[SupSuper]

Oh gawd now I can't unsee it. :eek: