Greetings Earthlings

[Dracuworm]

*Appears in black smoke*
Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Ahem. Anyway, as you can tell, I am a little newbie, BUT SOON I WILL GROW! I mean, this seems to be a rather lovely place and all, PERFECT FOR ME TO SET UP BASE! Oh, my head hurts. I really do not mean anything I say. Well, I do, but I am stuck in a transential time loop that will invade earth with cheese. Am I insane? I don't think I am... I AM! No, I'm not... YOU ARE! Can you please be quiet?... NO!

Alright, am I insane enough?;)

P.S. This is my welcome thread. It will explode within five seconds. Please remain calm.

[Preasure]

Ooo, this one's a little strange...

Welcome to the forums. Enjoy your stay here, and stay away from the Edam. And the moors. But mostly the Edam.

[Dracuworm]

*Is about to step into the moors*
Gah!
*Vanishes in green smoke*
*Drops message reading, "Thank you for the welcome. Oh, and because you were so nice in pointing out to me about the moors, I should inform you that a concrete donkey is about to fall on top of you."*
:D

[Plasma]

Alright, am I insane enough?;)
Nope, your sentences still posess a small bit of sense.

[Dracuworm]

Nope, your sentences still posess a small bit of sense.
Darn it, I must work a bit harder!
*Chucks cuttlefish bone into brain*
Now, how's that? Does my brain look less saner now?

[Melon]

Hmmmm.... If every new person creates a new thread saying hello, then Online Orgy will turn into an even BIGGER spam-a-thon than it is already. Mabye we should create a special welcome thread exclusively for the new people....

Still, it gives everyone somewhere to spam, instead of in places such as Slicks art thread :D

Anyway, hello Dracuworm. you're name seems like the perfect oportunity for a sigworm. I wonder what you'll choose....

[Star Worms]

Wow. You're strange. You should fit right in :p

[Apocalypse]

Aren't we all?
Welcome to the tortu- forums, dracul- Dracuworm.

[*Splinter*]

"This is a humourless place for humourless people! There's nothing for you here!"

:)

[Paul.Power]

Heh. Welcome, and nice way to break the ice :)

[SuperBlob]

What? Er...JIM!

[Kelster23]

A few more of those bones just might do the trick!

[GrimOswald]

You know, it's just an urban legend that everyone here is insane. Excuse me... *Headbutts a penguin* ...Ah, that penguin skin will make a nice jacket.

Huh? Oh, hullo there.

[Dracuworm]

*Appears in mauve smoke*
Why thank you all for the kind welcomes. Now I must complete my CV- what do you think of it so far?

lol r u dumb lol lol rofl lol i lik to do stff lol lol;)

*Vanishes in gold smoke*

[Metal Alex]

oh! welc... crap. He vanished.

[GrimOswald]

Vanished? That means he must be...a witch!

BURN THE WITCH! *Burns a penguin for practice*

[Dracuworm]

Vanished? That means he must be...a witch!

BURN THE WITCH! *Burns a penguin for practice*
You will not defeat me, I am invincible! I think...
*Eats own head*
*Head grows back*
Yep, I'm pretty sure.

[Apocalypse]

You will not defeat me, I am invincible! I think...
*Eats own head*
*Head grows back*
Yep, I'm pretty sure.Can I test that with my minigun?:p

[GrimOswald]

*Eats own head*

I'd give both my arms to see a picture of that.

[Dracuworm]

Can I test that with my minigun?:p
Hmmm... why a minigun? Would a jaffa cake not suffice?
I'd give both my arms to see a picture of that.
Give me your arms first, then I will show you the picture.

[GrimOswald]

That seems fair enough. *Cuts off his arms and gives them to Dracuworm via complicated leg movements*

[Dracuworm]

That seems fair enough. *Cuts off his arms and gives them to Dracuworm via complicated leg movements*
Ha! Fooled you!
*Runs off with arms to the Citadel of Evil to do experiments*

[GrimOswald]

Ha! Fooled you!
*Runs off with arms to the Citadel of Evil to do experiments*

Oh bugger. I'd better go get them back. *Runs off after Drac*

[Dracuworm]

Oh bugger. I'd better go get them back. *Runs off after Drac*
*Pulls out strange communicator*
Guards, I might need a little help...
*50 men armed with guns jump out of bushes and surround GrimOswald*

[GrimOswald]

*Pulls out strange communicator*
Guards, I might need a little help...
*50 men armed with guns jump out of bushes and surround GrimOswald*

Fortunately I was prepared for that...
*Conjures a lemming and sends it off the edge of a cliff. Watches the men rush over to see it splatter on the ground far below, then kicks them all off at lightning fast speeds*
Buahaha...
*Continues chasing Dracuworm*

[Dracuworm]

Fortunately I was prepared for that...
*Conjures a lemming and sends it off the edge of a cliff. Watches the men rush over to see it splatter on the ground far below, then kicks them all off at lightning fast speeds*
Buahaha...
*Continues chasing Dracuworm*
Grrrr...
*Puts on fast walk helmet and goes at super speed*
You'll not catch me now!

[GrimOswald]

Grrrr...
*Puts on fast walk helmet and goes at super speed*
You'll not catch me now!

Hmm...only one thing for it.
*Pulls out communicating device*
Ahem...assistance is required.
*A plane flies out and drops a concrete donkey in front of Drac.*
Get past that sucker!

[Dracuworm]

Hmm...only one thing for it.
*Pulls out communicating device*
Ahem...assistance is required.
*A plane flies out and drops a concrete donkey in front of Drac.*
Get past that sucker!
*Gasps*
*Turns around to face GrimOswald*
So it is the immortal vs the armless, then? If so, be prepared!
*Unleashes armageddon*
Ha ha ha ha ha!

[GrimOswald]

*Gasps*
*Turns around to face GrimOswald*
So it is the immortal vs the armless, then? If so, be prepared!
*Unleashes armageddon*
Ha ha ha ha ha!

*Looks up at the balls of fire rapidly approaching*
Uh-oh...only one hope...
*Gets out laptop and hacks Wikipedia's article on Armageddon*
Come-on...load faster...
*Erases current content of the article and replaces it with "A time when harmless pink fluffy bunny rabbits shall fall from the sky and land harmlessly on the ground'*
Nearly there...
*Presses enter as a fireball is about to hit him, and it suddenly changes into a harmless pink fluffy bunny rabbit*
Phew! Now it's my turn...
*Eyes glow red and fires a laser beam out of them*

[Dracuworm]

*Looks up at the balls of fire rapidly approaching*
Uh-oh...only one hope...
*Gets out laptop and hacks Wikipedia's article on Armageddon*
Come-on...load faster...
*Erases current content of the article and replaces it with "A time when harmless pink fluffy bunny rabbits shall fall from the sky and land harmlessly on the ground'*
Nearly there...
*Presses enter as a fireball is about to hit him, and it suddenly changes into a harmless pink fluffy bunny rabbit*
Phew! Now it's my turn...
*Eyes glow red and fires a laser beam out of them*
*Uses the Force to deflect laser beam with hands*
Rather crafty, aren't you?
*Hacks on to Wikipedia and erases the article on the Universe*
*The Universe ceases to exist*
Try and work your way around that.

[GrimOswald]

*Uses the Force to deflect laser beam with hands*
Rather crafty, aren't you?
*Hacks on to Wikipedia and erases the article on the Universe*
*The Universes ceases to exist*
Try and work your way around that.

So let me get this straight...if the universe no longer exists, then Wikipedia no longer exists, which means none of its articles exist, which means nothing it ever had articles of exists. Which includes time, which means time doesn't exist. Which means points in time cannot be defined since time itself doesn't exist, which means there could exist no point in time that you could erase the article on the Universe.
*The Universe exists again*
Is that the best you can do?

[Dracuworm]

So let me get this straight...if the universe no longer exists, then Wikipedia no longer exists, which means none of its articles exist, which means nothing it ever had articles of exists. Which includes time, which means time doesn't exist. Which means points in time cannot be defined since time itself doesn't exist, which means there could exist no point in time that you could erase the article on the Universe.
*The Universe exists again*
Is that the best you can do?
No. I have one more trick up my sleeve.
*Causes every copy of Worms 4 Mayhem to explode*
MWWWAAAAHHHHHAAAAAHHHAAA!

[GrimOswald]

No. I have one more trick up my sleeve.
*Causes every copy of Worms 4 Mayhem to explode*
MWWWAAAAHHHHHAAAAAHHHAAA!

NOOOOOOOOO! YOU MONSTER!
*Kicks Dracuworm where it hurts*

[Dracuworm]

NOOOOOOOOO! YOU MONSTER!
*Kicks Dracuworm where it hurts*
Ouch!
*Falls to the ground*
Well, nice knowing you and all...
*Presses button which causes 1000 mines to go off underneath us*
*Teleports away to Citadel*

[GrimOswald]

Ouch!
*Falls to the ground*
Well, nice knowing you and all...
*Presses button which causes 1000 mines to go off underneath us*
*Teleports away to Citadel*

*Goes flying high into the sky from the explosion...and just happens to land on a bouncy castle right outside the Citadel*
Wow...what a coincidence.
*Knocks on the Citadel door*

[Dracuworm]

*Goes flying high into the sky from the explosion...and just happens to land on a bouncy castle right outside the Citadel*
Wow...what a coincidence.
*Knocks on the Citadel door*
Voice: "THIS IS A HIGH SECURITY AREA. VERBAL ENTRY CODE REQUIRED."

[GrimOswald]

Voice: "THIS IS A HIGH SECURITY AREA. VERBAL ENTRY CODE REQUIRED."

*Thinks for a moment*
Penguin!

[Dracuworm]

*Thinks for a moment*
Penguin!
Voice:"INCORRECT. YOU MAY RETRY ONCE."

[GrimOswald]

Voice:"INCORRECT. YOU MAY RETRY ONCE."

Chocolate coin!

[Dracuworm]

Chocolate coin!
Voice:"CORRECT. WELCOME TO THE CITADEL."
*Doors open and GrimOswald steps into a jungle*

[GrimOswald]

Voice:"CORRECT. WELCOME TO THE CITADEL."
*Doors open and GrimOswald steps into a jungle*

Ooh, this place looks cool!
*Takes five steps forwards and is already out of the jungle*
Huh...that was...strange.
*Sees door with sign "Arm conducting experiments room" and opens it*
Hello?

[Dracuworm]

Ooh, this place looks cool!
*Takes five steps forwards and is already out of the jungle*
Huh...that was...strange.
*Sees door with sign "Arm conducting experiments room" and opens it*
Hello?
In the jungle,
The mighty jungle,
The lion sleeps tonight,
A wimba wampa wimba waaaaay....

[GrimOswald]

In the jungle,
The mighty jungle,
The lion sleeps tonight,
A wimba wampa wimba waaaaay....

Err, ok...
*Sees arms lying on a table*
Woo! Now all I need is some glue...
*Searches around for glue*

[Dracuworm]

Err, ok...
*Sees arms lying on a table*
Woo! Now all I need is some glue...
*Searches around for glue*
*Trees from jungle area sneak up behind GrimOswald*
In the jungle,
The evil jungle,
The monster wakes up tonight...

[GrimOswald]

*Trees from jungle area sneak up behind GrimOswald*
In the jungle,
The evil jungle,
The monster wakes up tonight...

*Whistles, unaware of the trees. Find glue in a drawer*
Wicked! But is it super glue?
*It is*
Yes!
*Uses legs to apply glue to appropriate places, then sticks the arms back on. The glue dries after seven seconds*
Great. Now I can finally go home.
*Turns around to see the trees*
Uh-oh...

[Dracuworm]

*Whistles, unaware of the trees. Find glue in a drawer*
Wicked! But is it super glue?
*It is*
Yes!
*Uses legs to apply glue to appropriate places, then sticks the arms back on. The glue dries after seven seconds*
Great. Now I can finally go home.
*Turns around to see the trees*
Uh-oh...
Trees: "Your time has come. The Crimson King awaits."

[GrimOswald]

Trees: "Your time has come. The Crimson King awaits."

Please don't tell me the Crimson King is Dracuworm. We kinda have a bad history.

[Dracuworm]

Please don't tell me the Crimson King is Dracuworm. We kinda have a bad history.
Trees: "He has many names. Some may call him Satan. Others call him Despair. Most call him Dracuworm."

[GrimOswald]

Trees: "He has many names. Some may call him Satan. Others call him Despair. Most call him Dracuworm."

Aww fudge! I'm not standing for this!
*Creates a fireball and twirls it around his hands*
You don't wanna mess with me!

[Dracuworm]

Aww fudge! I'm not standing for this!
*Creates a fireball and twirls it around his hands*
You don't wanna mess with me!
Trees: "Arrgggh, NO!" *Run away*

Voice from above: "Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, I've laughed so much today, my sides hurt. You were a slippery little one eh Grim? But that shall all end soon."

*Grim gets teleported to the top of the Citadel*

[GrimOswald]

Trees: "Arrgggh, NO!" *Run away*

Voice from above: "Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, I've laughed so much today, my sides hurt. You were a slippery little one eh Grim? But that shall all end soon."

*Grim gets teleported to the top of the Citadel*

*Nervously notes the red-black sky above, the crows cawing, the wolves howling, and the general feeling of despair*

"What do you want with me you evil fiend?"

[Dracuworm]

*Nervously notes the red-black sky above, the crows cawing, the wolves howling, and the general feeling of despair*

"What do you want with me you evil fiend?"
*From the shadows*
To tell you something. To show you wonders. To show you what worms really are.

[bonz]

*enters room*
*points at two spammers*
*clicks the report bad post button*
*leaves behind a note reading "Dracuworm, from new forum member to being watched forum member faster than T_Magdi"*
*exits room*

[GrimOswald]

*From the shadows*
To tell you something. To show you wonders. To show you what worms really are.

"I know what worms realy are...hermaphrodite annelids. But go on then, you've obviously been dying to tell me."

[Dracuworm]

"I know what worms realy are...hermaphrodite annelids. But go on then, you've obviously been dying to tell me."
They see all of time and space and they divide them. They are the future, past, and present. They know the deepest, darkest secrets of the earth. Listen to their call...

[Apocalypse]

*clouds open, a bright light shines through*
[deep voice, suspiciously sounding like a forum mod] This thread has lost it's purpose, thus it shalt be closed..
*clouds close, bright light dims*
*huge lock appears on the citadel*

I mean it..

[Dracuworm]

*clouds open, a bright light shines through*
[deep voice, suspiciously sounding like a forum mod] This thread has lost it's purpose, thus it shalt be closed..
*clouds close, bright light dims*
*huge lock appears on the citadel*

I mean it..
:( Sorry. I'll try not to do it again.

[pilot62]

In fairness, this thread has been quite funny to read.

On the other hand, that discussion would have been better suited to MSN.

[SuperBlob]

In fairness, this thread has been quite funny to read.

On the other hand, that discussion would have been better suited to MSN.

But on the third hand, there wasn't much point to this thread in the first place :p

[robowurmz]

What about the fourth hand? What about him? Don't leave him out, or he'll be so depressed he'll fall into the MOORS!

[*Splinter*]

Worryingly, they spent 1 hour 15 mins doing this :p

To complainers: Remember that sense of humour point I made on page 1? :)

[Paul.Power]

Good to see you two getting on so well.

EDIT: Didn't realise there was a page 2. Now my comment just looks daft)

[Shockdude]

...
welcome to the forums...

[GrimOswald]

Hmm, guess I got a little carried away huh?:eek: I'll try not to do it again.

Still, this is one of the most original hello threads I've ever seen.;)

[Cisken1]

The universe is a banana. Welcome

[Alien King]

Er... What a strange person / entity.

[MrBunsy]

The universe is a banana. Welcome

Where do you live?

[Kelster23]

Where do you live?
Inside of a banana seed, apparently.

[WormOfFire]

Welcome to the world of insanity...
your sanity wont last much longer,hah

[Paul.Power]

Welcome to the world of insanity...
your sanity wont last much longer,hahForum addicts of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your brains!

... no, hang on...

You have nothing to lose!

[bonz]

Forum addicts of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your brains!

... no, hang on...

You have nothing to lose!
You may lose everything if you are the owner of a brewery, though.

[WormOfFire]

You may lose everything if you are the owner of a brewery, though.

You never miss a chance,do you?
:rolleyes:

[Metal Alex]

however, I prefer potatoes.

[GrimOswald]

Pineapples for the win!

[Paul.Power]

Pineapples for the win!As Worm Mad is no longer here, someone has to step into the breach.

So...

CRAZY DANCING!

[bonz]

http://pds.exblog.jp/pds/1/200506/07/34/d0058734_214577.gif

[GrimOswald]

Aww, you've put me right off pineapples now.:(

Hmm...

Pumpkins for the win!

[bonz]

http://www.westfieldheritage.ca/images/sheripum.gif

[Gardy Looo]

Durians then! And welcome. :p

[Melon]

Durian you say?

http://forum.team17.co.uk/showthread.php?p=545626&post545626

He's my sigworm's assistant.

[FutureWorm]

Welcome to Team17. You're not as funny as you think you are, so you'll fit in quite nicely.

[GrimOswald]

Stop doing that bonz!

*Tries again* Bananas for the win!

And why do I get the strange feeling Drac is never coming back to this thread?

[bonz]

http://www.rodnox.de/features/smileys/sat-banane.gif

[GrimOswald]

But I'm betting you don't have one of...pawpaws!

Pawpaws for the win!

[Paul.Power]

Well, if he can't, this is a good second best:

"Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a *****ly pear
And you ***** a raw paw
Next time beware
Don't pick the *****ly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue?"
"Golly, thanks, Baloo!"

- The Bare Necessities, from The Jungle Book (cartoon movie version)

EDIT: Well done, the Team 17 Forum language filter.

[SuperBlob]

Lmao, turning Disney into summat rude

[Cisken1]

Well, if he can't, this is a good second best:

"Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a *****ly pear
And you ***** a raw paw
Next time beware
Don't pick the *****ly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don't need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue?"
"Golly, thanks, Baloo!"

- The Bare Necessities, from The Jungle Book (cartoon movie version)

EDIT: Well done, the Team 17 Forum language filter.

LOL, offensive Disney! I like trees!

[Apocalypse]

What did it used to say? (I dunno the english version)

[SuperBlob]

Pri ckly pear

[Plasma]

Wait, what's so wrong about 'pri ck'?

[Cisken1]

Wait, what's so wrong about 'pri ck'?

OH MY GOD, you are NOT serious!!! :eek:

[Alien King]

Wait, what's so wrong about 'pri ck'?

You mean... You don't know...?

Well... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pric#k (remove the # for it to work).

[Shockdude]

...
!?

now which one is it?:p

[Plasma]

A pejorative term for an unpleasant male is the one I know.
I was happier without knowing what else it means.

[Preasure]

How old are you, Plasma? And you attended public school? :p ;)

[MrBunsy]

How old are you, Plasma? And you attended public school? :p ;)Public school isn't exactly in the real world though, is it?

[Cisken1]

They live more as a tribe in public schools...

[MrBunsy]

They live more as a tribe in public schools...

A very elitist, expensive tribe? :confused:

[Plasma]

Public school isn't exactly in the real world though, is it?
IRELAND isn't exactly in the real world!
:p

[Cisken1]

A very elitist, expensive tribe? :confused:

Indeed!!!!

[Preasure]

Public school isn't exactly in the real world though, is it?
Public school as in school in the public sector - normal state funded school. The point was that anyone who's attended there and not left with a complete dictionary of swearing must be rather strange. Or deaf. And possibly blind as well.

[Pickleworm]

I was happier without knowing what else it means.

IU KNOW!!!! DICKS ARE SO GROS

[MrBunsy]

Public school as in school in the public sector - normal state funded school.You mean state schools then ;) Public schools are definatly not state schools.

But yes, I know what you meant, nothing like schools to teach you more than you wanted to know, in both senses.

[Plasma]

Public school as in school in the public sector - normal state funded school. The point was that anyone who's attended there and not left with a complete dictionary of swearing must be rather strange. Or deaf. And possibly blind as well.
Due to my unusual detest of being 'cool', I commonly block out the chaotic rumpus of my fellow induhviduals.

[Paul.Power]

Public school as in school in the public sector - normal state funded school.Eeh, you Americans with your daft logical way of naming things.

Public schools in Britain are private schools.

[Kelster23]

I've known what that word has meant since GRADE FIVE.

[pilot62]

Plasma, I knew much worse words than they when I was 6, and I was never one to care abut coolness. I fail to see how you can block words like that out, assuming they're as prevalent as they were at my state school.

[MrBunsy]

Judging from the some of the guys I've met from the Royal Grammar School I'd say they're just as bad if not worse. This is secondary education though.

[Paul.Power]

Due to my unusual detest of being 'cool', I commonly block out the chaotic rumpus of my fellow induhviduals.Well, I know what you mean, but these things do have a habit of filtering down eventually. I would certainly have known by age sixteen.

[psyke o_0]

your name says dracuworm yet your avatar shows a devil.....uh....dng.....TIME PARADOX *vortex*

[Paul.Power]

your name says dracuworm yet your avatar shows a devil.....uh....dng.....TIME PARADOX *vortex*Hah? Call that a time paradox? I've eaten bigger time paradoxes as a mid-afternoon snack...

[Dracuworm]

And why do I get the strange feeling Drac is never coming back to this thread?
You mustn't be a betting man/woman, then.

[GrimOswald]

Ok, you got me. :p

And incidentally, no, I'm not the kind to make bets. Not for money anyway.