Silence. Not a single sound but that of Ignate’s eyes not blinking as he stared blankly at nothing in particular. This was unbelievable. This was freakin’ unbelievable. He couldn’t possibly be the only one to have noticed this. ‘Oi! You!’ he called to the nearest passing worm, who happened to be Metal Alex. ‘Yeah?’ ‘Metty, have you ever noticed something a bit weird about this place?’ Metal Alex considered this for a moment. He opened his mouth to say “yauhui” but decided this probably wasn’t the answer Ignate was looking for and closed it again. He shook his head. ‘Are you sure Metty? Nothing about the Team17 Forum World has ever struck you as somewhat odd?’ More considering, followed by, ‘Nope.’ Ignate gritted his teeth. ‘Absolutely nothing?’ ‘Wait, are you talking about that smell that’s been hanging around recently? Because Cisken hasn’t had a shower in-‘ ‘For the last time, it’s not me!’ called out Cisken indignantly in the distance. ‘-quite some-‘ ‘Oh, and have mah babiez,’ he added. ‘-time.’ ‘Yeah, yeah it could be that Metty,’ said Ignate. ‘Or, you could stop being a moron for a minute and look around and realize THERE’S NOTHING BLOODY HERE!’ Metal Alex stopped being a moron for a minute and looked around. ‘Huh. Now that you mention it, it is kind of empty…and flat…and featureless…’ ‘…and blue,’ added Zero thoughtfully, having seemingly materialized out of thin air to make his obligatory appearance. Ignate banged his fist on a non-existent table. ‘KIND OF?! There’s nothing but blue as far as the eye can see! The ground is blue, the sky is blue! Everything is blue!’ Zero craned his head up to look at said sky. ‘I dunno,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘it looks rather grey to me.’ ‘Wait wait wait,’ said Metal Alex. ‘This doesn’t make any sense. What about all the forum comics? None of them take place in anywhere like this.’ Ignate gave Metal Alex a “WTF” look. ‘”All the forum comics?” The only one that’s going on at the moment is Melon’s forum news, and someone burned down the set!’ ‘Look, it was an ACCIDENT, OK?’ called out Cisken. ‘Ooh, did someone say my name?’ asked Melon, who made his way towards the group, Durian following behind him. ‘Yeah, we were just talking about how weird this place is,’ said Metal Alex. Melon nodded sagaciously. ‘Mmm, I’ve been getting that feeling too, but I haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly what’s causing it…’ Ignate threw his hands up in the air. ‘This couldn’t be more obvious! What the hell is wrong with all of you idiots?!’ ‘Well,’ said Zero thoughtfully, ‘as you just said, they are all idiots, which sounds pretty self explanatory…’ ‘LOL TIME PARADOX,’ shouted Cisken and Metal Alex simultaneously. ‘SHUT UP! SHUT UP!’ screamed Ignate. ‘Whoa, calm down Ignate,’ said Durian. ‘No need to get all hysterical over this. Let’s all just close our eyes and take a deep breath…’ ‘Yeah, deep breaths,’ said Melon. Ignate sighed. ‘Sorry. You’re right Melon, thank you.’ Melon gave Ignate a pat on the back. ‘No problem man.’ Durian frowned. ‘But it was me that-‘ ‘Anyway,’ Melon interjected hurriedly, ‘there’s obviously only one way to solve this mystery. Durian, run way over there.’ ‘What? Why?’ ‘Come on, get a move on. Time is money.’ ‘But-‘ ‘Go!’ Durian narrowed his eyes at Melon, then sighed and started running in the direction he had indicated. Metal Alex, who had been busy giving Cisken high-fives via portal, turned back to the group. ‘How on earth will that help?’ he asked Melon. ‘How should I know? I can’t come up with all the ideas.’ ‘On that note, I have a theory about our situation,’ said Zero thoughtfully. ‘Oh this should be good,’ muttered Ignate. ‘Well, you mentioned how there have been no forum comics recently, right? See, the thing is, forum comics are ultimately what define us. They are what provide us with situations to react to, and more importantly, give us a setting. So, when there was that huge influx of comics a little while ago-‘ Metal Alex grinned. ‘Mine was so awesome.’ ‘-there was a lot of certainty. We had a definite place. However, since then, there’s been nothing to reinforce that solidity, and so we have slowly drifted off into this vague, blue nothingyness. All of us,’ he finished thoughtfully. Ignate stared at Zero for a moment, trying to think of some kind of rebuttal, or put-down, or indeed anything. He failed. ‘Damn you, that actually makes sense, in a bizarre kind of way.’ ‘So the question is,’ said Metal Alex, ‘how do bring that setting back?’ ‘Easy, we just make a load of forum comics,’ said Melon. Ignate rolled his eyes. ‘Sure, if you think you can persuade anyone to exert that amount of energy.’ ‘Oh, right. Team17 Forum.’ ‘We could walk,’ suggested Metal Alex. Melon raised an eyebrow. ‘Huh?’ ‘Zero said we drifted away, so we just walk back. The obstacles we will inevitably face on the journey will ultimately turn this into a story and thus become a setting unto itself, and a defined part of the setting will be that we return to a world of substance at the end of it should we succeed.’ ‘You know, that could just work,’ said Zero thoughtfully. ‘I’ll take any chance to get away from here,’ said Ignate. ‘Blue is not my colour.’ Melon turned to both of them. ‘Wait, you guys aren’t telling me you understood that are you?’ ‘Melon, all you need to know is that it will require minimal effort on your part,’ said Metal Alex reassuringly. ‘Sweet.’ Ignate rubbed his hands together. ‘OK, let’s get going. The sooner we can get out of this dump, the better.’ ‘What about everyone else?’ asked Metal Alex. ‘What about everyone else?’ ‘I mean, shouldn’t we gather all the other members up and tell them about this? We can’t just leave them here.’ ‘But that would take ages! Besides, when it comes right down to it, we all know that we are The Big Five-‘ ‘Actually, I’m pretty sure Ignate was never apart of any big five…’ muttered Cisken, still in the distance. Unfortunately for him, Cisken’s mutters are still several notches louder than what is considered acceptable in polite conversation. Ignate bent down, picked up a rock, and threw it as hard as he could, knocking him out. He turned back to the group. ‘-The Big Four, of the whole forum. We’re the glue that holds it all together, the core of it all. Everyone else is, quite frankly, expendable.’ Metal Alex scowled. ‘It still seems wrong to me.’ ‘Gah, come on Metty. They’ll probably figure it out on their own eventually anyway.’ ‘I guess…’ ‘Good. Now le-‘ ‘Wait,’ Zero interrupted thoughtfully, ‘shouldn’t we at least tell Durian he can stop running now?’ Melon shrugged. ‘Meh, the exercise will do him good.’ Ignate clenched his fists angrily. ‘Are we all done now? No more questions? No more giving a damn about others? Sure? Good. Now let’s go.’ And so The Big Four set out to begin their epic journey of fear, courage, love, hatred, and friendship. ‘And unnecessary narration apparently,’ remarked Zero thoughtfully. Shush you.