Deus Ex Quotes - "I guess you had to be there"
Chris:I had to get up early... once.
Albert:When I say 'sh*t' it doesn't always mean something's wrong.
Warren:I'm sorry I created this bad machine. (*cough*) (*cough*)
Warren:Poof! I am God.
Steve:You would think that playing D&D all night with a guy who smells like salami would make you hungry, but it doesn't.
Dave:There comes a level of nerdiness when you can discern the difference between mouse pad surfaces. I have not yet reached that level.
Anon:Hey. Is there something wrong? Would you like a bite?
Steve:Singing while you work seems like one of those dwarf things that never really caught on with us big people.
Steve:Screw precision mousing surfaces, we have precise mousers.
Michael:Why did you try to pick that guy up?
Dave:I thought he was a little boy.
Steve:The only problem with an online community is that there are people in it.
Warren:In #4, add half-naked workers to the asset list.
Harvey:Hey Monte, do you read much?
Monte:What? Books?
Rob:(daily report, 7/29/98) Hugh and I got the GM_Tshirt_shorts, GM_Tshirt_Pants, and GM_PoloPants into the Unreal engine. Made minor modifications to the Hit_Back animation cycle for GM and applied changes to all the variations. Updated Sarah_Mead. And I boned a naked chick in my office while Jeff watched.
Marsh:Hey, go shoot something in the head and see what it looks like.
Chris:Hey, look! He sh*ts shells!
Scott:How come I'm always the one on top?!
Steve:Women just don't seem to be as funny as men.
Harvey:Men have to be funny to score.
Steve:Well, I think you're pretty funny.
Monte:Uh-oh, you guys have me worried.
Steve:Why? You're not funny.
Chris:Dead guys don't float but they will, eventually.
Warren:If we get a bunch of rats and pigeons in the appropriate places, people will sh*t.
Harvey:The Statue of Liberty does not look like the Statue of Liberty without that giant f*cking green statue on top.
Monte:This missile is pissing me off.
Dan:I like nuts, just not in food.
Steve:If you put a rubber-ball-gag in a dog's mouth and screw it, you ARE that weird.
Jay:I endorse anything that is cheap...
Scott:What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, Alzheimer's.
Marshall:I like to be a mage.
Monte:(talking to Clay about Harvey) If he's not hairy enough for you just rub some Rogaine on his back.
Steve:(in a funk) Fish is supposed to be brain food man. That's bullsh*t.
Harvey:Fish is, but I don't think queso is.
Dan:Women are very high poly count.
Dan:Cool! I smell like naked people.
Chris:If he gets really puffy, can we poke him?
Dan:From far enough away, everyone is cute.
Tim to Albert:You've found an interesting way to break the script compiler.
Chris:You are f*cking up my automated process.
Warren:Wait a minute -- this is a dialogue rather than a flame. Cool.
Monte:Movers suck.
Albert:I'm not afraid of your paper balls!
Harvey:(watching Marshall try to cut a very hard ice cream cake) Wow, Marsh, that took all of your geek muscle!
Warren to Dan:All I have to do is cock this once, and your ass is MINE.
Warren to Dan:I have to get upstairs real quick and get this hair off my pie.
Christian:I'm going to shoot this right in his butt.
Albert:Wash one little boobie, wash two little boobies...
Leesa:Everywhere I turned, it was Marshall in the rear!
Warren:Did you say something about the boss's banana?
Harvey:Executives who don't give out Christmas bonuses should sleep lightly.
Leesa:(trying to say 'turn out the lights' in GeekSpeak) Make the lights default!
Russ:Symmetry is overrated.
Steve:(raking furiously in his desktop Zen Garden) I'm raking but it's not working.
Harvey:It's either the Zen Garden or the Glock.
Monte:Sand is flying everywhere.
Monte:I could have just thrown my mobility-assistance monkey into that drunk guy's car and screamed, ASSMONKEY KILL!
Harvey:Man, this shirt is hot.
Monte:Well, just take it off.
Harvey:What? And have you spring on me from behind with a bottle of Rogaine?
Warren to Dan:When we ship, THEN you'll be allowed to touch my stuff.
Monte:Raz me in the booty.
Chris:Don't let an artist tell you that it doesn't matter.
Dan:Warren has a great rack!
Harvey:Oh man, women do not like being called hippos!
Clay:Man, Monte, your work has gotten a lot better.
Monte:It's the Ex-lax.
Warren to Dan:This Big Boy's got your name on it.
Stan:It's like a pimple they can't reach around to pop.
Rob:People. Shoot 'em, kill 'em!
Chuck to Dan:May I borrow your wallet so that I may go pee?
Harvey:F*ck that! F*ck being agonized by Mr. Spock!
Katie the waitress at Artz Rib House:You guys order like a bunch of girls! (referring to the high maintenance orders of Russ, Steve, Harvey, Warren, Dan and Monte)
Peter to Michael:I don't think I've ever seen you in pants before.
Warren:...and then I took him home.
Monte:I'm not that homophobic... I hang out with all of you, don't I?
Harvey:It's like swimming in a giant, boiling urinal.
Warren:I got something hard.
Rob:That damn suit skirt babe - her ass kept poop-poop-pooping out the back of her skirt.
Monte:I don't want nudists, I want lingerieists.
Harvey:I've been here so long, I can't even take pleasure in web porn anymore.
Warren:Demi Moore sounds like a frog.
Warren:Pull that out again and walk around.
Scott:I need to get a vibrator.
Harvey:Didn't I tell you that yesterday was a day of great sex?
Monte:Yeah, but how does that help us?
Monte:(after pondering a moment) I guess it does help us because you aren't being such a bitch.
Harvey:That goat looked up and said 'Holy sh*t'!
Warren:Well, this is a paradigmatic problem!
Everyone else in the room laughs hard.
Warren:What? That's a word! It is!
Harvey:Killing people... not a problem.
Warren:We don't want to educate people unnecessarily.
Jay:So, which hooker did you use?
Chris:Once again, here's my standard disclaimer for those who have forgotten it: All art/effects/sounds in the game may or may not be final. All art/effects/sounds in the game will be cleaned up and polished during a tweak/polish pass to be started at a much later date.
Bob:Death definitely improves one's frame rate.
Chris:Now I want to go home and play with my joystick.
Monte:How come the spiderbot still... oh f*ck... oh sh*t... ahhhh.
Monte:(playing System Shock 2, struggling) Gosh dang bees in this game are f*cking gay.
Chris:Shut up! Just talk!
Monte:Clay and I can't play Quake on the internet servers anymore. It just ends up being all about who can backstab the most feebs in the shortest amount of time.
Scott to Peter:You have a very big package.
Monte:Hear that? That's the sound of the inside of Ricky Williams's colon...
Chris:When you want to do it, I'll show you how to do it.
Chris:Math is so cool. Hooray for math!
Harvey:So pure north is always east?
Chris:It's not east, it's zero!
Tim Sweeney to Albert:This sounds like the kind of mistake I would make! If we were physicists, we'd discover the grand unification of physics, but get the sign wrong. :)
Monte:I just wanted the biggest shaft in the game.
Warren:Chad wants you.
Chris:He'll have to wait about five minutes.
Warren:You'll have to beat him off.
Monte to Harvey:Read your email before you start bitching.
Harvey:The player is like a girl in a bar...
Doug Church:Yeah, she wants to believe the lies.
Ricardo:Just because a chick has a knife in her purse does not mean that she has a dick...
Monte:You want me to rub your ribs with my... chicken?
Harvey:Look, Monte "Three Dumps A Day" Martinez is heading for the bathroom.
Monte:Yes, and once I'm there I'm going to create a special pokemon just for you.
Ricardo:Monte, what should the start-up text for my sub mission be?
Monte:Forgive me for this game-play?
Peter:There is some Tupperware in the fridge that has stuff in it older than the Tupperware. If it is still there tomorrow, it is going to Tupperware hell.
Monte:(who spent the entire prior day working on a single forklift in UnrealEd) Hey, I reworked Area51...
Ricardo:Yeah, now you kill the bad guy with a forklift.
Bob:(with enthusiasm) Ooh! I want that military guy!
Unknown:World domination is eminent.
Warren:(writing up a bug) Bots that aren't actively engaged in some kind of activity look pretty lifeless.
Scott to Albert:If you give me my balls back, I'll give you your rubber.
Chad to Monte:You are going to get a boob-job for your Real Doll?
Scott:You can gib a child with one stroke of the nanosword!
Chris:That's because children have fewer hit points. They are inferior and weak.
Steve:I have a good sense of humor, I just don't laugh a lot.
Chris:There isn't much in the AI revision list except for the really critical stuff.
Peter:When you drink the booze the screen goes all funny. This is dumb. Can't you just make JC less coordinated or something. Sh*t if that happened to me after drinking a f*cking beer... I'd have aids by now.
Warren to Albert:You can tweak them in the nipples, but no butt grabbing.
Albert:Get the f*ck out of me!
Steve:Setting the AI reactions for a giant spiderbot is pretty easy... hate, hate, hate, hate.
Warren to Albert:I give you magazines to read, don't give me sh*t.
Harvey:Hitting my G-Spot is not all that hard. It's this big purple knob out in front of me.
Steve:Saying 'I was here until 4:30 in the morning' is the nerd equivalent of the purple heart.
Steve:I got my leg blown off yesterday and I really didn't notice anything different.
Warren:(describing a bug in Daikatana) Mikiko runs off down the hall, and you have to use her a random number of times before she'll come to.
Warren:...and now my wife wants me to dress that way all the time.
Harvey:It's a good thing that I'M the one deciding whether it's time to lick balls or not.
Warren:You don't have to stand here and watch, I'll keep beating on it.
Austin to Chris Todd:You're really putting the grimness into this game.
Chris:Come on, vibrate, damn you!
Andy:Hey Warren, I would actually buy this game now...
Andy:The karkians look like big potatos with legs, potato dogs!
Albert:(referring to Warren) He's pacing around like a pregnant father.
"Paranoia means having all the facts." -- William S. Burroughs