The BACKWARDS THREAD from the FUTURE!!! 3: THE THREAD GOES WEST [Archive] - Team17 Forum

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FutureWorm
24 Mar 2006, 02:59
http://forum.team17.co.uk/showthread.php?t=19099
This thread is comedy gold. I think we would do well to start a new one like it. Problem is, we never completely finished (started?) it, and as a result it didn't quite get to a good ending (although the current ending is pretty good). So let's try again. This time, I've mentioned the "beginning" of the thread. Here's the "last" post:
Oh, I did not need to hear that. Please keep that sort of thing to yourself in the future.
Fact remains, this thread has become so far derailed that I'm just going to have to ask AndrewTaylor to close it. It's rather ridiculous that a thread about jumproping could have gone to the point where we heard *shudder* that, but I guess that's how it is sometimes.

Pickleworm
24 Mar 2006, 03:01
As Zero would say... http://forum.team17.co.uk/showpost.php?p=289367&postcount=100

Paul.Power
24 Mar 2006, 03:09
I'm not sure what I can say to that, although I believe Zero summed it up accurately once with a drawing. Could someone ferret it out, please?

Slick
24 Mar 2006, 03:09
That is crap for art work. I hope you burn in hell. :mad:

Zero72
24 Mar 2006, 10:07
Ugh. Man, I really didn't need to know that.
Anyhow, I got bored and banged this together in a couple of minutes or so.

Paul.Power
24 Mar 2006, 11:23
Now that's just wrong.
On a related note, I wonder how many Optimus Primes you could fit into one picture, and still have it look good?

philby4000
24 Mar 2006, 16:27
I'm pretty sure that cheese is made from the intestines of a bemused man from Cheddar.

Slick
24 Mar 2006, 16:53
Yeah...that would taste good and all...but cheese would taste so MUCH better than that.
I wonder where cheese comes from anyways. :-/

Star Worms
24 Mar 2006, 17:13
Wow, that really happened? All I remember was eating a chocolate covered pineapple.

worMatty
24 Mar 2006, 18:28
Oh, god, it must have been really uncomfortable for you to sit down for at least a week! I haven't heard of a worse food-related accident since we had to take StarWorms to Accident and Emergency when he thought he was having pregnancy cravings. He still isn't right today.
I was approached by some guy the other day trying to get me to compare the taste of roast baby against cheese on Rivita.
----
OT: LOL, Paul. That was clever.

FutureWorm
24 Mar 2006, 19:37
You think that's something? Last week, I attended the annual "Four on the Floor" competition, a marathon sitting contest. I had managed to hold out for 170 hours, with a few nap breaks, and there were only five of us left.
Suddenly, somebody ran up behind me and conked me over the head with a can of Easy Cheese. The entire can exploded onto my head, getting all over my hair and clothes. The impact knocked me right off my chair and I was disqualified. Needless to say, I was absolutely livid.

Slick
24 Mar 2006, 20:31
Dude stop spaming in my thread you jerk! :mad:
Stop the spam or else I will have no choice but to lock this thread.
... WOOO HOOO! GO FREAKING MAC GO!
See!? I dont want it to close.
Gah, bad news everyone...me and my brother were playing around with pasta action figures we made out of glue...and I fell on some facile...you know...the squiggly noodle kind.
Right up the you know where. I am stuck sitting here for like...7 days till I heal a bit.

Plutonic
24 Mar 2006, 21:40
Bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas bananas!!!!!!!!!!!

Xinos
24 Mar 2006, 22:40
My brother's birthday is coming up soon, any tips on what I can get him?

SupSuper
24 Mar 2006, 22:44
We're really getting off-topic, wasn't this originally about pineapples?

worMatty
24 Mar 2006, 22:51
I advise against doing that, you'd get banned.
In response to StarWorms' question: He might but it would depend on the circumstances.

FutureWorm
24 Mar 2006, 23:05
Suppose I went to Sel's house and surreptitiously put a flaming bag of poo on his doorstep for an April Fool's joke. I think he'd find it rather hilarious, don't you?
Lay off the specific quotes and so forth, they can really slow the thread down. I mean, they're good every once in a while, but still.

Xinos
24 Mar 2006, 23:12
Yeah I too wonder what T17 will do this year... What was it last year? They said realistic weapons where taken out of the game because of it upsetting people? ;D

Squirminator2k
24 Mar 2006, 23:36
Don't worry, we've got something cool planned this year ;)
As for the Teamsters... well, I really couldn't say.

FutureWorm
24 Mar 2006, 23:41
April is VD Awareness Month. Ben, what will Dream17 be doing?

Splapp
25 Mar 2006, 00:04
Nah, I can't see that happening. They're far too big.
In other news, it turns out that I have VD. :(

philby4000
25 Mar 2006, 19:07
Yeah, I heard that too. I also heard that a tribe of giants from the nothern wastes of canada will be attending this year.

Zero72
25 Mar 2006, 22:01
That sounds all good and well, but I'm nervous about a rumor that a tribe of giants from Peru might be planning on crashing the party.

Plutonic
26 Mar 2006, 05:51
Hey all, I know this is way off topic but I'm planning on heading over to creamfields again this year if anyone else is interested in going.

Star Worms
26 Mar 2006, 21:48
Please stop spamming. Does anyone else think that thomasp will close this thread?

Splapp
26 Mar 2006, 22:59
COLOSTOMY BAG PLEASE, WITH FAT CHIPS!11onoenlololololeeeerks!1one

FutureWorm
26 Mar 2006, 23:03
Nope, it seems that she isn't all that interested in me after all. Yesterday when I tried to talk to her, she just ignored me the whole time. Did I try too hard? I am torn; I just got back from crying into my pillow.
Seriously (and don't screw around here), what can I do? I need help. :(

worMatty
27 Mar 2006, 00:17
I predict that I will give two pieces of advice in the same post shortly.

AndrewTaylor
27 Mar 2006, 19:47
FutureWorm, seriously, you have to get over this ludicrous crush. She's a store dummy, for crying out loud!

FutureWorm
27 Mar 2006, 21:00
I can't stop thinking about her. She haunts my dreams every night. Every time I look through that display glass, I see her. I am completely addicted. Gah!

Xinos
27 Mar 2006, 21:30
So how goes it with this girl you speak of? You've seen her at the mall every day for so long... Maybe you should make a move?

worMatty
1 Apr 2006, 00:18
FutureWorm, do you recall the law that was passed a few months ago that said if anyone shouted something in public they'd be forced to work in a shop and be made to look stupid? Well I think the girl you just told us about might have had that happen to her.

FutureWorm
1 Apr 2006, 01:50
So there's this girl I know. She is so amazingly good-looking, but not always the best at holding her tongue. Last week, she shouted twelve different swear words, in alphabetical order, at the top of her lungs.
Since then, I have only seen her at the mall. Funnily enough, she is always in the front display window of Express.

AndrewTaylor
1 Apr 2006, 09:44
Well, no, I had to dump her after that. Honestly, it's unbelievable! The last fourteen girls I've been out with didn't even know the alphabet! How is that even possible?
PS. Please don't all immediately show off that your girlfriends know the alphabet. That would be petty and immature.

SupSuper
1 Apr 2006, 15:22
So did everything turn out well with the girl? Iirc, you described the date as shocking, amazing and incredible all in one.

AndrewTaylor
1 Apr 2006, 15:52
My advice to you is not to go to Savalido's in town. I've just got back from a date there and the food was shocking, and amazingly inedible.

Zero72
1 Apr 2006, 22:45
I know what you mean. The coolest stuff is found in public toilets.
On another topic... Man... So I take this girl on a date, and the food was all just WAY too good. I mean, it was like she enjoyed it. I'm so disappointed. :(

Star Worms
2 Apr 2006, 12:54
Hmm, I don't think that was one of your best ideas.
On a brighter note, I found one of those little transformer toys at the train station toilets. It's fun!

AndrewTaylor
2 Apr 2006, 13:38
A couple of days ago I got drunk and ate a tine Optimus Prime action figure. It really hurt this morning when it came out again, but I didn't miss my train! Oh, yes indeed.

FutureWorm
3 Apr 2006, 20:09
Oh, you have one too? I've been hearing loads about these Tine™ brand action figures, but I've never actually seen one in person. I suppose they're rather nice, no?

SomePerson
4 Apr 2006, 00:56
OMG! Really? I was just there! That's where I bought my new Tine brand action figure.

FutureWorm
4 Apr 2006, 03:37
Earlier this morning I went to Paul's Fun Stop to get some candy. It was bizarre; I saw someone there who looked just like SomePerson. Weird.

Paul.Power
4 Apr 2006, 09:31
Thanks, yes, I am very pleased with my new chain of Fun Stop shops.

SupSuper
4 Apr 2006, 11:37
Yes, that was a crazy story.
Anyways, I've gone to one of these shops called Paul's Fun Stop. They're mighty nice.

worMatty
4 Apr 2006, 21:41
Well I don't know much about the sexual habits of rats but I can tell you something interesting about dogs. Did you know they prefer lime trouser legs to yellow ones? I think it has something to do with their eyesight. Heh, reminds me of that time when I saw a canine conga line at a '70s disco. I don't know many wacky stories but THAT was a crazy one!
I'm going on holiday soon and I need to pick up a few things. Can anyone recommend any mobile joke shops in Newcastle? Don't ask why ;)

Star Worms
4 Apr 2006, 22:22
My house has never been invaded by rats. However, I guess if you leave it lying all around the house, it's inevitable, especially considering how they breed like rabbits.

Plutonic
6 Apr 2006, 13:22
I can't beleive it, I just moved into my new place and there are rat droppings everywhere. I've put down rat poison but they just seem to keep coming back, and now I have to go around collecting dead rats from every nook and cranny :(

FutureWorm
6 Apr 2006, 18:52
Now that sounds nasty. I haven't heard many stories about worse houses than that... wow.

SomePerson
6 Apr 2006, 20:31
Pfft, you think THAT was a nasty house?! I went to my friend's house the other day, and he had an NSYNC poster on his wall! It was absolutely horrible! God, I'm STILL in utter horror...

AndrewTaylor
7 Apr 2006, 12:14
I found a crumb at my friend's house yesterday.
On the worktop.

philby4000
7 Apr 2006, 13:48
Oh no!
I've lost my crumb.:eek:

SupSuper
7 Apr 2006, 16:31
One thing I really hate about bread is how it leaves crumbs all over the place.

AndrewTaylor
7 Apr 2006, 18:56
Well, it's a similarity between Philby and bread, certainly, but it's by no means the only one.

worMatty
8 Apr 2006, 14:49
Speaking of OD personality traits, has anyone noticed that when philby posts something it goes stale within a couple of days? He's a bit like bread. Also bread is boring.

FutureWorm
12 Apr 2006, 23:58
Good point. And I thought I was the only one who noticed.

AndrewTaylor
13 Apr 2006, 00:11
Has anyone else noticed Futureworm is a moron?

Zero72
13 Apr 2006, 09:23
FutureWorm is a moron.

Paul.Power
13 Apr 2006, 09:47
I'm glad FutureWorm's stopped doing silly things.

Pickleworm
13 Apr 2006, 20:16
Hey, Futureworm stopped doing silly things!

Zero72
13 Apr 2006, 20:18
Yeah, FutureWorm probably did that.
Oh, that FutureWorm and his silly things.

Pickleworm
13 Apr 2006, 21:00
Someone did something silly today :-/

Slick
13 Apr 2006, 23:48
Yeah...well have fun scraping that off. :confused:
LMAO! Futureworm just sent me a sound clip on MSN of him farting the alphabet!:D

Splapp
14 Apr 2006, 00:13
Smarties? Are you serious!?
In other news, I ran over a badger on the way to work today. It made a right mess.

Slick
14 Apr 2006, 03:12
Dude, don't be such a jerk. He can't help he is a narcoleptic.:(
Pfft...but anyways...I fed my pet cat that just so happens looks like a badger, a HUGE pack of smarties. Unfortunatly...it went psycho...and ran away.:(

FutureWorm
20 Apr 2006, 06:07
Shove it up your ass.

Paul.Power
20 Apr 2006, 10:01
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Zero72
20 Apr 2006, 10:47
I got one, I got one. So I was walking down the street, and...

worMatty
20 Apr 2006, 21:11
I'm sure we had a thread for that somewhere.

AndrewTaylor
20 Apr 2006, 21:30
Dammit, a negative event just occured!

Plutonic
21 Apr 2006, 15:22
I think I just shat myself....

worMatty
21 Apr 2006, 22:19
I had Andy Davidson's lovechild!

philby4000
23 Apr 2006, 21:15
I AM ANDY DAVlDSON'S LOVE CHILD!

Squirminator2k
23 Apr 2006, 21:52
Except that's physically impossible to do with a shovel. And you certainly couldn't have kids afterwards, Andy. If that is your real name.

Star Worms
23 Apr 2006, 21:57
So, I was outside digging a hole in the garden for a tree and put the shovel on the ground against a rock. I didn't exactly think about the wind, and no sooner had I stood up, the tree was blown onto the shovel, causing it to somersault in the air before hitting my groin.

AndrewTaylor
23 Apr 2006, 22:19
And what happenned after you killed the werewolf?

Paul.Power
24 Apr 2006, 10:59
We used a telescope light amplification chamber.

AndrewTaylor
24 Apr 2006, 12:15
But how could you tell it was a werewolf from that distance?

worMatty
26 Apr 2006, 00:45
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for animal rights and stuff but we thought it best we shoot it before it reached the swimming pool. The rest of the day was mediocre in comparison.

Plutonic
26 Apr 2006, 01:20
Christ guys! Don't you think the poor thing had a right to live?! How can you go on with your day after something like that?!?!?

Slick
26 Apr 2006, 05:07
Yeah well...it was so asking for it. :mad:

Pickleworm
26 Apr 2006, 05:41
Some guy in a Werewolf suit ran in my yard the other day. We shot at it in an attempt to save the children.

worMatty
2 Jun 2006, 15:39
That's a coincidence. We had a problem with dodgy neighbours recently, too. Pickleworm can tell you about it, I'll tell him to come post.

Plutonic
2 Jun 2006, 16:50
ARGH!!! Every time I open my curtains there some dodgey freak standing outside in his dressing gown... its realy getting to me!

Zero72
2 Jun 2006, 23:56
I got a new dressing gown the other day. I like to wear it around town and stare into people's windows. It really freaks them out.
By the way: Gross.

AndrewTaylor
2 Jun 2006, 23:58
What's that word that's like the opposite of "net"? I just can't for the life of me remember it.

worMatty
9 Jun 2006, 02:53
Maybe Eddie Izzard's outlet for vanity is his transvestism. It so clearly manifests itself in that way that we ignore it without thinking. At least he's not doing a Cher concert in stockings. Why the sudden interest in clothing?

FutureWorm
11 Jun 2006, 21:14
That's nothing compared to Eddie Izzard. If someone makes a post about Eddie Izzard's clothing, I will shoot myself, I swear.

Slick
11 Jun 2006, 21:52
Im sure he didnt mean to. After all, he never wears underwear.

FutureWorm
11 Jun 2006, 21:59
Slick keeps talking about himself in the third person, and yesterday he flashed me. I'm scarred for life.

AndrewTaylor
11 Jun 2006, 22:39
I've heard there's a new trend for genital piercings with razor blades attached. Has anyone heard about that?
Or even seen one?

FutureWorm
13 Jun 2006, 06:18
Yeah, that's why I left her.
Well, that and the genital piercings.

AndrewTaylor
14 Jun 2006, 12:15
FutureWorm, was that your girlfriend I saw chasing you down the street trying to pierce your arm with a broadsword?

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